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Ask & Find  ·  14 questions

Love and people

Who matters to you, and how you show it

The people in your life are most of your life. These questions are about them, and about you with them.

Some of them might make you want to send a message. That is allowed.

01

Who makes you feel most like yourself? What do they do differently?

Noticing what they do tells you what you need from people.
02

Who do you owe a thank-you that you have never properly said?

The thank-you is more for you than for them. But they would like it too.
03

What do you wish the people close to you understood about you?

Most of it they could understand, if it were said plainly.
04

What do you do for the people you love that they might not notice?

Quiet care is still care. It is worth seeing your own.
05

Who have you drifted from that you miss?

Drift is rarely a decision. It can be undone with one message.
06

What does being loved well feel like to you, in practice?

Knowing this is how you recognise it, and how you ask for it.
07

How do you show love when words are hard?

Everybody has a dialect. Knowing yours helps the people around you read it.
08

What do you need to say to someone, and what would it cost to say it?

Usually less than the cost of carrying it.
09

Who gets more of your patience than you give yourself?

You are allowed to be as kind to yourself as you are to them.
10

What have you learned about love from someone who was not a partner?

A grandparent, a friend, a teacher. Some of the best lessons come sideways.
11

What would you want a close friend to say about how you treated them?

This is the kind of person you want to be. Write it down and it gets easier to be.
12

Who did you love who has gone, and what of them do you still carry?

Grief is love with nowhere to go. Writing gives it somewhere.
13

What is one small thing someone did for you that you have never forgotten?

The small ones last longest. Knowing that changes what you do for others.
14

What do you want more of from the people around you? Have you asked?

Most people would give it if they knew.