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Ask & Find  ·  14 questions

Who you are

Underneath the job, the role, and the labels

Not who you are supposed to be. Not who you are at work. The person who was there before any of that, and is still there now.

These questions are gentle. Most of them you already half know the answer to. Writing it down is the part that counts.

01

What do people come to you for?

The thing friends ask you for is usually the thing you do without noticing. It is a clue.
02

Describe yourself to a stranger without mentioning your job, your relationship, or where you are from.

Take the labels off and see what is left. It is usually more interesting than the labels.
03

What were you like at eight?

The eight-year-old had tastes before anyone told them what to like. Some of them are still in there.
04

What do you drift toward when nobody is watching and nothing is required?

Not what you do to relax. What you drift to. That drift is a compass.
05

What are you quietly good at that has never been on a CV?

Making people feel at ease. Knowing when to leave. Fixing things. These count.
06

Which compliment do you still remember, years later? Why that one?

The compliment that stuck is the one that named something you hoped was true.
07

What do you believe that most people around you do not?

The place where you differ from your friends is where you are most yourself.
08

Who do you become when you are tired?

Nobody is their best self at eleven at night. But the tired version has things to tell you about what is running low.
09

What do you pretend to like?

Everyone has a few. Letting them go is lighter than it sounds.
10

What is something you are proud of that would not impress anyone?

The private wins are the ones that are actually yours.
11

If a friend described you behind your back, kindly, what would they say?

We are harsher on ourselves than anyone who loves us would be. Borrow their eyes for a minute.
12

What do you need more of than most people seem to?

Quiet, movement, time alone, time with people. Knowing your dose is half of looking after yourself.
13

What part of you did you put away to fit in somewhere? Is it still there?

Most of us edited something out at school, at work, in a family. It rarely leaves. It waits.
14

Three words you would want under your name, besides your name.

Not morbid. Clarifying. It is the shortest version of what you want to be about.